Tomorrow

My grandson, John, almost eight, and his sister spent the night with us Saturday night. John is adept at conversation and commented to me that his mom has an app on her computer that “goes right to your blog! That blog sure has a lot of words on it, Grammy.”

I was pleased to know that my family checks out what I write occasionally and a bit ashamed at how long it’s been since I added any words to my friends out there in the blogosphere.

 There’s not a whole lot about knee surgery that’s clever or uplifting, and pain and the drugs that manage it have kind of numbed my desire to do much but play solitaire or watch the disaster reel on the news. But now it’s tomorrow, and I’m back.

The day I got home from the hospital some friends were visiting when Walker got home from work. I was enthroned on my usual chair, dressed in street clothes, and looked pretty normal. When Walker realized I was here, he rushed in, hugged me passionately and commented, “You’re home! My song must have worked.”

I immediately knew this was Walkerese for something tender, so I questioned him about which song he might be referring to. I actually thought he had followed a pattern of turning to “Amazing Grace” for comfort in a troubled time, but his repertoire has expanded.

“You know, the one from ‘Annie’…”

Ah…I did know.

“Tomorrow?” I queried.

“Yep, I sang it last night and now you’re home…”Tomorrow, Tomorrow…I love you Tomorrow…” Tears misted both his and my eyes and those of our friends.

I love you tomorrow too, buddy!

Blessings,
Janie

Another Winter To-Do Thing

When I made the list published previously, I was just musing and trying to motivate myself to get moving. In a prime example of how things can change overnight in the course of events, I find myself with one big item on the list of what to do this winter…get my knee replaced. A false step on some stairs and an injury that just isn’t getting better took me to my favorite ortho.

Owen, who was a classmate of Molly’s and the best ortho in the world, in my humble opinion, told me almost eight years ago that both knees were awful and needed replacing, but I had things to do and babies were coming along, so I ignored him as long as possible. By the time I got my left knee done, I had wasted four or five years dragging the thing around and living on pain killers. ( Not hard core…mostly just NSAIDS, but I’ve discovered recently that they are not totally benign either.)

This time I am not as foolish. I’ll have a new knee before Valentine’s day, and if the process goes as well as the last, be walking the neighborhood by Spring Break.

One of my favorite things about recuperating from anything is how magnificent it is to watch God finish man’s work. After the surgeons send you home and the therapists give up on making you into an athlete, God finishes the healing. The only problem I’ve found with this is that it’s on His schedule, not necessarily mine. It does seem to happen, though, with astonishing predictability.

Healing doesn’t just apply to physical damage, either. Looking back over a lifetime of having my heart and ego wounded in various ways, I can truly recognize that God healed those wounds too. Sooner or later, something came along to distract me and lift my spirits and focus my attention away from the hurt while it healed. Oh, the scars are still there, and on a bad day I can identify every one of them, but scars don’t usually hurt…they just are.  Maybe some of you have noticed that too.

Blessings,
Janie

Missing You!

After five days in the hospital, and a bit longer than that since I've been able to be at the computer for more than a minute, I just had to post a short update.

The new knee is in. I'm already glad I did it, because after 6 days, I'm walking better than I did the two weeks before the surgery. I plan to write more about it when my head is clearer, probably under a different blog name, so that those of you who are squeamish about blood and gore won't have to read it unless you want. I have a great desire to answer some of the questions I had that no one seemed to want to give an answer to. Each case is different, but I'll give some straight answers from my own perspective.

Walker has had some rough times. It's tough to fear for the important people in your life. He visited me in the hospital a couple of times, but I resembled his grandfather who recently died a bit too much there for a while. When I got home he was like a toddler, racing to hug me...gently please...and sitting by my side way more than usual. He told me he cried at work on Monday because he was worried about me. Then he went back to his normal routine, just after he asked me if I could find him the Ghostbuster's II soundtrack on Ebay. Life goes on.

My friends and family have been so wonderful through our long drawn out year of problems. They remind me again and again that God has no hands but our hands to do his work today. Each visit, each casserole, oatmeal cookie, poundcake, note, or plant or flower delivered to me helped me to see God in the people who love me. More about this when I'm not so tired.

Blessings,
Janie

Hollering Uncle

For those of you who missed me, I’m back at the computer…kind of.

I have been dealing with ever increasing arthritis problems, and when my knees got my body so out of whack that I could no longer bear sitting at my computer, I gave up. I’ve scheduled knee surgery for next Wednesday. I’ll have at least one brand new knee for Christmas.

In case you’re wondering, yes, I’ve tried every known means of avoiding this surgery, including multiple medications, arthroscopy, horrid injections of varying kinds, physical therapy and even massage therapy. It just ain’t gonna work this time.

I’m spending a lot of time flat on my back or standing up really, really straight until then. I’m still able to function in the kitchen, which by accident or design, works really well for someone who has limited mobility. I’m storing away duplicates of our meals enough to carry us for a while, and friends have been really generous in their support. Big Walker is catching up on the intricacies of getting a hot meal on the table all at the same time, and he is finally accepting the fact that the dish fairy really isn’t going to come. We’ve actually settled into a routine that pretty much works for us most of the time.

After getting over the initial shock of coming home from work to find Mom on crutches, Little Walker has accepted the new normal state of things with his usual equanimity. I’ve worked to convince him that medical equipment doesn’t necessarily mean you’re going to die any time soon, and he’s going on about his business, just like he always does. It helps that he has great support people working with him.

I’ve talked to numerous people about their surgeries, and other than one friend saying that she still can’t get into her bathtub after a year and a half (a huge quality of life thing for me!), I’m convinced that in a few weeks, I won’t feel any worse than I do right now, and possibly will be much better. This time next year, I may even take up ice skating…Nah, couldn’t even do that when I had my original, good knees.

I’ll write when I feel like it, but it may be erratic in frequency and quality. If you’re in the habit of just checking to see if I’ve posted anything new, you might want to subscribe to this site and you’ll automatically be notified.

I’ve been so gratified by the interest in my musings…almost 5,000 viewers in just over 6 months…Wow! If I ever figure out a way to make money on this thing, I’ll be rich. Nah, I’m already rich in the things that count.

I hope you’ll keep reading. I hope I’ll have something useful to say. I am so thankful for the privilege of sharing my random thoughts about our life with those out there in the world.

Blessings,
Janie