Friday, June 6, 2008

Baby Girl Coming Home

We are all excited that Sarah Jane is coming home for a few days. For those of you who might not know, this is our actress daughter who is on "Brothers and Sisters" on ABC. Since she "outed" me on her blog for Cosmo ( I don't feel so uncomfortable about disclosing my stage mom-ness.

Sarah will be coming home for a wedding of an old friend. We'll have a laid back family dinner on Sunday, then maybe she'll help me hang some family pics on Monday, then back to LaLa Land.

After Walker was born and I realized that caring for him wasn't going to be a full time job, something in me cried out for another baby. In the beginning, I think I needed to know that I could do something right again. I don't know if all mothers and fathers of children with disabilities feel that way, but I did, as did several other mothers in our Early Intervention Class.

We were on the cusp of all the technology that can tell you whether your baby has any genetic defects, and I opted to have an amnio. Although I was terrified of the prospect of having a needle that appeared to be about the size of a railroad spike aimed at my baby, I just had to know. I'll never know what my decision would have been had that baby had an extra chromosome, but the peace of mind that knowing everything was good with my baby was worth going through the experience, which ended up being pretty much a piece of cake.
That baby brought so much life into our family. We could be happy again after what had seemed like an eternity of mourning, even as we cared for and began to love Walker. I wanted to hold her next to my heart twenty four hours a day, and all that loving and having Walker and two older sisters to learn with and from made her into a really special person. She's coming home, and my heart will be especially happy.

I hope I remember to tell each of my children how very special they are to me more often.

Molly is special because she made me a mother, the only thing I'd ever wanted to be, tolerated my youthful experimental motherhood, and turned out to be my dear friend and wise counselor. Katie is special because her free spirit and diligence combined to lead all of us along paths we might not have travelled and she gave me my only grandaughter. Walker is special because he taught me that all people are worthy of love just because they are. They are all children of my heart and each is the best he or she can possibly be--at least most of the time.


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