Even if I’m all grown up and know I should trust my opinion of myself rather than those of the people around me, I’m still somewhat like a child getting a gold star when someone praises something I do. I’m also very discerning about the sincerity of those compliments, and treasure the ones I believe are truly sincere. The friends and relatives that I know read my blog regularly are truly paying me a high compliment by taking time to peek into my life. I really, really appreciate it.
Today, I picked Sarah up at the airport, and on our journey home during a rather dreary rainstorm, with an unscheduled stop for gas in a very iffy neighborhood, Sarah volunteered to me that she thought my blog had been really good lately. I was kind of floored, because I have kept writing even though I felt like the tone and quality of my thoughts were kind of off.
I feel like Sally Field when someone I respect offers me praise, especially when it’s unsolicited. (Not that Oscar nominations are exactly unsolicited, but the competition is so stiff that I’m sure that winning must usually be a surprise.) “You like me…you really like me!” My heart shouts.
Her compliment eased away the anxiety that had building all morning as I juggled getting Walker to work, picking Sarah up without leaving her cooling her heels for too long at the airport after a dreadfully long flight from LA in the middle of the night, and trying to get my other tasks into some sort of order. I still feel my heart smiling.
I hope that I won’t be too dependent on the praise of others and that I’ll remember to cut myself some slack more often. I am proud that I did manage to send myself a message in the midst of the chaos that I’m doing the best I can…at least most of the time. And when I don’t…it usually doesn’t matter all that much. I hope I remember to tell others often what it is that I appreciate about them.