Not too long ago Walker had some “issues” with his brother in law, John. He talked to me about them; he talked to his dad about them; he even talked to his speech therapist and physician about them. He just couldn’t get the problem solved. He called Molly, who suggested that he talk to John’s wife.
“Hey Katie, You know how at your wedding John promised to love, honor and obey?”
That wedding was at least ten years previously. A puzzled Katie replied, “Uh…I guess so.”
“Well, I want you to tell John to cut it out. Okay.”
Forty four years ago today, I promised to love, honor, and obey my husband for better or worse. I had no idea what I was saying…does anyone? Visions of bridesmaids in pink and white and groomsmen in crisp black tuxedos and the prospect of happily every after had me drunk with joy, if not champagne.
Today, I recognize what that promise meant and all the complications it entails.
Walker and I chucked the obey part first. Our family just couldn’t function with a husband and father being gone about forty percent of the time and me not have a little…okay, a lot…of decision making power. The first time I picked out a piece of furniture, a $60 chair, without consulting Walker, I was extremely anxious about it. Forty four years later, I might ask whether he likes one chair better than the other, but he rarely cares one way or the other and I deal with that kind of thing.
There are days when the honor part comes harder than others, but I still think that one is really important. We have totally different skill sets, and most of the time they complement each other. I don’t deal with mouse traps and he doesn’t worry about what’s for dinner most nights. I truly honor the things my husband does that are so far beyond my ken as to be from a foreign culture.
The one part that has remained constant, however, has been the love part. No matter how frustrated or angry we get, that love has weathered the worst times. The better times are always just around the corner.
Tonight we'll grab a bite to eat and see a movie...our favorite date night. Tomorrow night we'll go to a fancier restaurant with friends to celebrate. Love it!