Only Casual Observations

Flying Free for Molly and Robert

This morning Robert IV departed home for what seems like the last time. He has accepted a position with the Department of State in Washington, D. C., leaving the nest for probably his final flight.  Molly is understandably a bit bereft, to say the least.

Robert is her firstborn and was almost lost to us to sudden liver failure at age four, saved and returned to the nest through the bravery of a liver donation of his Uncle John.  That is another story, but following that rescue, Robert followed the expected course of the gentlemen in his family, attending a challenging grade school and more challenging prep school, and finally graduating from the University of Virginia, and trying his wings at a job in Wyoming, far from home, but with familiar friends and a few distant relatives.  Taking a break from academics allowed him time to whet his mettle with completing in a Triathlon and learning to supervise those from another country in his kind and friendly manner.  During this time, he made more good friends and really enjoyed the “real world” as he was meant to do.

Most of the family expected that after this brief adventure he would return home to follow his father and grandfather in their successful careers in the financial world, but he had other plans brewing. Robert maintained close ties with friends and family all along the way, because he loved us all, but he grew more and more independent, learning to cook and clean for himself, manage his own money wisely, and make good decisions.  Much to the surprise of much of the family, before he left UVA, Robert had put in some applications, some of which didn’t pan out because of the physical requirements which the medications his liver transplant put on him.  He was required to have access to an immune suppressing drug, unavailable in many foreign lands, which got him rejected by the armed forces, the Peace Corps, and probably other organizations that had high standards for acceptance, including an absolutely perfect health slate.  Although he was able to do better than most, probably 99 percent of the people his age physically, he required the drug for life.

The Department of State recognized his high level of abilities overall, and the unlikely possibility of him not being useful because of his health, and after about four years, they contacted him with a job offer!  Of course he accepted, and this morning’s departure was the culmination of that long journey to a lifetime career. 

In our family Facebook discussion his mom, usually very private, spoke of her totally understandable heartache.  And, as her mom who has for all her life wanted nothing more than to see her child happy, offered a feeble attempt to make her feel better.  I hope it helped.

As I watered my plants this morning, I mused on a theory I developed as an amateur gardener, whom my friends think to be successful, but I personally know I only do what I do best, and learn by observing.  What I have learned from my plants seems to apply to people too.  The old adage, “Bloom where you are planted.” Doesn’t work for either plants or people, in my humble opinion.  One that seems to work better, in my opinion at nearly eighty years old is to, “Plant yourself where you will bloom!”  And then after that, replant if necessary.

I have learned to grow new plants through the years from old ones from the old ones, saving a few dollars every year.  I winter them over in a nice sunny area of my home, and then by Spring, they are ready to use around the pool, if I place them just right.  However, this year, with a lot going on, I forgot that Geraniums really are not lovers of so much sun, so after a short stay in the hospital for surgery, I returned home to some crispy leaves on my carefully tended Geraniums, because I had planted them where I wanted them to flourish, not where I knew they would do best, in partial shade.  There were several beyond redemption, but enough good ones that I moved them to a more desirable location and they should do better.

Perhaps the sun in Memphis, where Robert had a comfortable niche carved out for him, would have provided too much sun.  Too many old friends, not enough new ones.  Too much family with too many expectations, not enough fertile soil.  For whatever reason, I believe he was wise to relocate himself, although we will all miss him terribly.  He should grow and flourish in Washington, perhaps find more fertile soil to marry and produce offspring. Or, if not, he can always transplant himself…and wherever he finds himself, there will always be an opportunity to visit and refresh himself with loads of the fertilizer of love and admiration that the rest of us, his grands, his siblings, and his cousins, and most of all, his wonderful parents have in abundance awaiting him.

Fly free and happily young Robert, but don’t forget the way back home!

With all our love, Grammy