Sunday, September 14, 2008

Apologies

Sorry I haven’t written for a while. I could blame lack of inspiration, too many doctor appointments, too many errands and meals to prepare…lots of things. The truth is, I simply decided to piddle around even more than usual and also did some pleasure reading and watched some of my favorite shows on Tivo. Prison Break is back!!!! I chatted on the phone about nothing special. Basically, I did nothing anyone would call special.

I began most of my letters to my parents, back in the day when we actually wrote letters, with a lame apology for not writing and/or visiting more often. I would then fill in for them the details of daily life that attempted to excuse my negligence. When I sorted through all my mother’s many bits of paper accumulated through the years and re-read some of these letters, I really felt the shame I should have felt back when I wrote them.

The truth is, we make room for the things in our lives that are important. We decide how to spend our time and energy and money, even when all are running low. I know in my heart that I should have made some different choices through the years, and I know that for the most part, I can’t do anything about them.

I want to make better choices today and whatever tomorrows I have left to me.

This week, I’ll actually book a day to take lunch to my brave friend Martha, who is such an inspiration to us all. I won’t just think about doing it. I’ll do it.

In spite of having MS for over twenty years, Martha regularly uses her time, energy, and money to bake goodies for Pastoral Care. She gets dressed every Sunday and comes to church, even on those Sundays when I’m home watching the politicos on TV in my bathrobe. It takes Martha a very long time to do anything, but she does it.

I hope that this week, I’ll be like Martha.

Blessings,
Janie

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